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Monday, February 27, 2012

4 items of clothing no man should ever wear in public...

There is no time for emotion...
Men. It seems that as a species our clothing knowledge is rather depeleted  compared to women, who manage to somehow pull off and look beautiful in anything. Or nothing at all. But we can't seem to get a grip of the fashion world, whether it's because we simply don't care about clothes or that we try to dress badly on purpose to annoy wives and girlfriends, either way, we suck at being fashionable. Even male models can't wear clothes without looking like mannequins who just came out of a prostate exam. But some men go to the extreme and make most men look bad across the world, therefore, I give you the four clothing items no man should ever wear in public, and for god sake guys, read and learn...ALSO I have done this question thing at the bottom, I've tagged some people, but if I haven't, leave your answers in the comment box too! :)

1. Tank Tops
I don't care how hot it is, or how big your rippling guns may be, you look like a dick if you wear a tank top. Promoting half a shirt is only saying you belong on a basketball court  or you can't afford sleeves, and neither is particulary impressive unless you're actually playing basketball. T shirts aren't exactly that expensive with massive chains such as CostCo and Primark around, I'm sure people could afford a t-shirt that doesn't expose the top of a chest and collar bone, a simple crew neck would suffice. The worst kind of tank tops are ones that stick tight to the skin of men, showing every bulge and every pound of fat that caressess their body. Even the nipples come out to say hello to disgusted passers by, and they're only looking at them because of the twat-like nature screaming from the vest that's blatantly too small. Wear tank tops to bed, or burn them...
Psychographics: This guy has watched too many 50 Pence and M&M videos that he automatically thinks tank tops are acceptable, or he actually thinks he's from the hood. He's most likely athletic in the art of sports or in a band. Rock band members always seem to wear XL tank tops with some sort of graphic design on them...

Another photo, ruined.
 2. Ugg Boots
Basically a glorified slipper, Ugg boots have recently sprung up across the world in their millions, and at £170 a go, they aren't exactly the cheapest of footwear neither. A slipper from Australia doesn't really make much sense since it's baking hot nearly every month of the year out there. But that isn't what this post is about, no way. It's about men. Men in Ugg boots. I've seen it, and I nearly vomitted everywhere. They're in the girl's section of a shop for a reason, brace yourself...they're meant for girls, 'cause girls like that fluffy, comfy kind of clothing and footwear, as it reminds them of teddies and girly stuff. But if you're a guy, you should be into football, and err, sharp things...playing to a stereotypes isn't proving my point here. If you know a guy who wears a pair of Ugg boots, make him eat sand until he throws them in the river, or if you're a girl, make him give them to you. He'll understand.
Psychographics: I don't really want to say they'll most probably be gay, because that's an assumption, but there's a good chance they might be. A very good chance. Either that or he's a straight guy who probably ironically loves fashion and celebrity magazines, and girls, if you find this guy you are the luckiest woman on this planet...
"I hope they burn your legs"
3. Leather trousers
Sweating is the most natural of occurrences when either hot, embarassed or nervous, and in leather pants, you'll be experencing all three of these feeling simultaneously. Scrotums everywhere must fear the dreaded legs-shaped dead cow, simply because of the sweaty heat that is about to be bestowed on them, and through them sweating like a lamb in a slaughterhouse comes the second problem, they'll stick. 'Til the end of time. People wear these things once and then cut them off with scissors hem by hem. The moisture makes them expand, then when they cool, it'll retract back to a smaller size moulding into the shape of your legs and hips. Just to think, the most expensive trousers you've ever bought will now be a part of you forever like that hideous parasite out of Spiderman 3. Just don't sit on any leather sofas, or it'll sound like the most massive fart everytime you move, and that's just nasty...
Psychographics: Stereotypically classed as 'Indie', these people listen to soft prog rock, lay about all day then go to concerts at night. Giving labels to certain groups of people is wrong, but the best way to describe them. If you don't know what Indie means, see this:

Explanations are not my thing.
4. Bodywarmers
It's cold, but you have no sleeves...WELL DONE.
Psychographics: Cold. As Fuck.




1. Favourite song? 

2. Dance move of the century?

3. The best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?

4. The yummiest cereal?

5. If you could make up one line in a song, what would it be?

6. How hungry are you right now?

7. Interesting fact about yourself?

8. Is the head of your bed facing away or toward your door?

9. If you could be animal, which animal would it be?

10. Favourite internet meme?

11. Probability of you actually fowarding this quiz thing? Out of 10, 1 being lowest. 

Please repost the rules of this tagging game:

· Post 11 random things about yourself.

· Answer the tagged questions.

· Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.


  1. 1. Favourite song? Glory of Love

    2. Dance move of the century? Dougie

    3. The best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle? Donatello

    4. The yummiest cereal? Kellog's Honey Cornflakes

    5. If you could make up one line in a song, what would it be? F* ya haters LOL

    6. How hungry are you right now? I just chowed 3 bananas and 3 purple sweet potatoes

    7. Interesting fact about yourself? I scream at lizards of all kinds when they're in front of me.

    8. Is the head of your bed facing away or toward your door? facing the window

    9. If you could be animal, which animal would it be? I'm a tiger cuz I'm a fighter

    10. Favourite internet meme? planking and Tebowing

    11. Probability of you actually fowarding this quiz thing? Out of 10, 1 being lowest. 0 =)

  2. haha I agree with you 100%. Although my dad has one body warmer he particularly loves and refuses to throw away!

  3. Very interesting post. Can't say I disagree with you. Men in Uggs? Ughhh...

  4. The body warmer pic makes me all nostalgic for Michael J. Fox in "Back to the Future"...though was not a good look for him even back in the glory days of body warmers.

  5. My step father wears tank top's all the time in the summer, and he is no where near atheletic! I can't agree with you more.