Array of Topics

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

4 different types of lecturer/teacher in schools and universities...

Our brain is what seperates our species from other animals, unless you were bought up by wolves and taught their wolfy ways. However since most of us don't live in the Jungle Book, it's likely at some point you went to school and were taught the ways of a sophisticated sort by another human, imparting knowledge to our knowledge hungry brains to be able to function appropriately in this world. However although they get paid an honest wage and get more weekly holidays than a club rep, some of them still manage to pick up traits that mould their personalities into the following four different types of lecturer/teacher in schools and universities, which is neither good nor bad, it's just the way they are...
No, we don't need you anymore.
1. The Flamboyant
The classroom can be a dull place to be, with people's work pinned up like trophies on every wall and uncomfortable plastic chairs cradling your behind, it's not somewhere you want to be for very long. Anything to make the time go faster is welcome, the clock barely moves everytime a glance is taken at it. But luckily, this type of teacher can actually light up a classroom and make it, and run that clock down 'til the bell. No, they aren't Time Lord, just a man or woman, however they'll keep your mind and eyes occupied with their theatrical nature.
Flailing their arms and making physical gestures with their hands, The Flamboyant will have you staring at the flacid movement they incorporate within the teaching plan that has been set for them to try and add a bit of sass to the experience. With a perpetual smile and fast paced talking, the time will pass almost instantaneously, although half the time you won't remember what's been said as the off Topic comments or personal stories that he/she tells will be the only thing in your head. If you want to learn, this probably isn't the type for you, but you'll love them nevertheless.
Psychographics: Probably teaches the arts or humanities of some kind, but will always be dramatic and camp what ever subject they teach. A very sociable and lovable character with a passion for conversation, this person refuses to be an adult and will continue to act on his childish nature for a long time to come.
You'd get more enthusiasm from this guy.
2. The Mid-Life Crisis
I can imagine the world of teacher to be pretty darn stressful, with the pressures of marking coursework and preparing repetitive lessons, it's not exactly hard to see why some teachers fall into this category of The Mid-Life Crisis. Balding, hopeless in love and barely a social life outside the school is only three things that may trigger their enthusiasm for teaching to be blunted. Bringing problems to work is only going to exacerbate the miserable feeling and will make the students either sympathise, or seize the opportunity. 
Pricks in every classroom will use their saddened state to wreak havoc on other pupils and take advantage to trash the tables and chairs, with out being stopped. To be honest, if a teacher is this depressed, they shouldn't even be there. The next time a teacher just walks in and slumps on his chair with head in hands, simply get up, and walk out. There is no point of either of you being there if the  teacher can't physically teach. They'll have to learn that calling in sick to work is the easiest way to amend their clinical state and give us students the time off we deserve... ;)

Psychographics: Probably mid-40's and going through some serious trauma in their personal life, The Mid-Life Crisis is pretty self explanitory really.
3. The Bore
The most traditional and tedious of all types of teacher, The Bore goes to extreme lengths to make sure learning turns you suicidal. The humourless slow speech and old fashioned ways of teaching create a stale atmosphere in the classroom that will help you drift off into a day-dreaming sleep after staring into space for the past half an hour. Being abruptly awoken by a loud chant of your name from their bellowing, boring voice, you'll realise that it wasn't a nightmare; this shit is real.
"Suddenly I don't look so bad"
The piercing eyes and constant stare towards the class will make you sit in silence and immobilise all hope of learning anything. How they actually get employed is beyond me, it's actually like they have never had any fun in their whole life, and don't plan to start...
Psychographics: Mostly male, they take teaching VERY seriously. Alone most of the time, they wander this Earth moaning and whining about every detail that upsets them...which is EVERYTHING. He most probably has a fish for a pet, and stares at it for hours as a part of his daily routine, which he sticks to religiously. Ugh, they're both as pointless as each other (EARLIER POST)...
4. The Substitute
Now I must admit, this is my personal favourite type of teacher, I'm not normally bias but this is an exception right here, because The Substitute is by far the best teacher a student could want. They're basically a stand-in that doesn't know much or anything about the subject they're teaching, and frankly, they just want to go home. Think of it as a vacation from learning but you still have the attendance mark put in. The Substitute rarely gives a shit about what he's saying or doing, they just go with the flow of the class and joins in with conversation on occassion. It's like having another mate around.
I have love for this type of teacher. I am actually impressed of how they convince the school that they are a suitable candidate to step in for the regular teacher. Now that's a job interview I'd like to see, the qualifications for the job must be an admittance slip to a mental hospital and a birth certificate, it has to be.
Psychographics: Barely cares about what they're faced with,as long as they get the pay check and are able to go home. Legends...

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