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Sunday, March 4, 2012

5 video games that instantly make you cool...

Now personally, I don't play video games. I don't even own a console that isn't at least ten years old, all these sequels of game platforms can suck out, my N64 will always be top of the pile (I LOVE YOU MARIO). However out of all the games I have played round other people's houses and at ComicCon etc, give the basis of what it means to be 'cool' in today's society.Whether you have an awesome job, a lovable personality or look cooler than a snowman with a cap on backwards, all these games either meet aspirations in one's own mind or in other people's eyes. So, without further ado, I give you 5 video games that instantly make you cool, even if in your own life you're nothing but a tragic loser...
Living proof that anyone can be famous
1. Guitar Hero
Musicians are a collection of the coolest breed of human known to man, their ability to play an instrument and make us sit there and do nothing but listen is outstanding. Prettiness doesn't even come into play if you're musically talented, just ask Seasick Steve. What a sight. It might also be the reason why almost all average shmos dream of being on stage performing to a massive crowd jumping at your jaunty tunes; the reason Guitar Hero is on this list.

This game let's you be that rockstar without even leaving your room, it acquires virtually no effort than just to sit on your sofa and press some colour coded buttons when they appear on screen. Granted, some people around the world are gifted at this video game, there are thousands of Youtube clips that enable them to show of their button and strumming skills, and they're worthy skills indeed, but nothing compared to the real thing. You aren't really creating music, just playing along with it as another artist intended, but in that sense it's why you become cool. Others and yourself will be able to sing along with the tunes blearing out of your tv set and the satisfaction that it is you who is providing this merriment makes you instantly popular. Even if you are playing on easy difficulty...

2. Left For Dead
Zombies are nothing more than cheap film and video game fodder that production companies use as enemies for unlikely protagonists to easily kill and become heroes. Let's face it, if we're talking about Romero's species of zombie, they are slow, mindless and easy to run away from. They're a worse version of human beings. 

However after 28 Days Later, that all changed. They can now run. Think. Punch and kick, all in all, a much more terrifying opponent. I'm scared already, and Left For Dead played on this new zombie emergent including them in a video game where the player IS one of the survivors. Genius.
This game gives the player a chance to be in a zombie apocalypse where the zombies are actually a threat. They feel inclined to save their team members, grow their leadership skills and battle with bravery to conquer fears. Virtually, of course. You put yourself inthe middle of a horrific experience and become the hero of the day. Now that is cool. Going around decapitating the evil horde with a frying pan is going to make you look awesome and chances are you'll probaby get the girl, and save the human race from extinction. Phwoar...

3. World of Warcraft
I know what you're thinking, how can this game make anyone look cool. You're paying monthly to live a seperate life as a gnome or some sort of fantasy creature that is able to cast spells and fight dragons. But trust me, it does. Not to regular people who don't cyber shop and actually have physical contact with other humans, but to the other millions of WoWsies that play online you're going to look ice cold.

If you're a level 80 on this game, you will be loved by all the relm and dramatically better than level 10 n00bs (I can't believe I just used the word n00bs. Apologies.) who have just started the game. Think of it as a democracy run by class system, the better you're doing in society's eyes, the better life you'll have. Questing and slaying monsters will have girls around the world begging for men to enter a forum with them, or share a cheeky video chat on Skype, either way, this game will make you popular with other players and may even find you love with the opposite sex, or the same sex, depending what you're in too...

"I now pronounce you, Goblin and Goblin. You may kiss the Goblin".
 4. Spyro
Many 1-player platform games hold the same techniques and tendencies Spyro does, but this game makes you cool for a different reason... you're a skateboarding purple dragon.
That is all.

 5. Call Of Duty
Guns and violence are a concoction of ingredients that create a video game with popularity and an oppurtunity to shoot things without the consequences, such as death. War is never pretty to share nor watch, let alone be involved in however COD, as it's ofishly abbreviated , has the gamers hooked by the millions around the globe.
Respawning after death means no one will win this war.
Anyone remotely considered cool or gnarly to a surfer dude plays the latest Call Of Duty and is good at it. With awards for headshots and killstreaks, this game brings war to life and turns your living room into a battlefield as you emerge yourself within the life of soldier, and you're not alone. Literally. That's what makes this game cool, the fact that you aren't the only one playing it. You feel comforted to know that you aren't the only person out there not feeling bad or being discriminated for shooting a foreigner in the face. Unless you have a headset, in which case, prepare for abuse...


  1. Let us judge my coolness level. I pefer Rock Band to Guitar Hero. I don't play WoW. I've never even seen a copy of Left 4 Dead except in stores, and I don't own any Call of Duty games. But I do own almost every Spyro game (my very first video game). I guess 1 out of 5 ain't to shabby.

  2. don't call me a n00b :(
    - And yes, Spyro definitely makes you cool. The coolest.

  3. I used to love spyro back in the ps1 days! I've not touched my guitar hero after the 5 minutes of novelty wore off :/